The Joy Quotient

Something that really stayed with me when reading Linda and Richard Eyre's Teaching Your Children Joy was the concept of fostering a child's Joy Quotient. The authors talk about the importance of this Joy Quotient, stating that it is more important than I.Q.   A Joy Quotient, J.Q., is probably closer to what you might have heard referred as the  E.Q. or Emotional Quotient, but it is different. It is more than that.

The Joy Quotient includes Physical Joys, Mental Joys, Emotional Joys and Social Joys.  Linda and Richard Eyres's invite us to imagine how confident and successful your child can be if s/he has mastered the basics of the Joy Quotient as s/he starts school. They also steer us away of practices which research shows smother these abilities. 

For example, they quote a study where researchers follow children when they are small and as they grow up. The study controlled for family background and education. All children had non-working mothers, were upper-middle class, and had no hereditary or emotional differences.

However, at some point the children diverged. Researchers, went back in time to investigate the cause that made some students develop a high I.Q. while others only received lower grades, and had lower I.Q.s.

Researchers arrived at the conclusion that parenting style has a tremendous effect on children. "Mothers of the high I.Q. and good-grade children (the "A" mothers) where consultants. They loved their children, but they let them develop in their own way. They gave freedom, an interesting environment, and time, but not all their time. They had a wide variety of other interests besides their children. They painted, they took violin lessons, or they played tennis, but they recognized teaching moments and taught what their children were interested in when they were interested in it. They gave the initiative to their children."

"The "C" mothers overtaught, overprotected, and over supervised their children and did their thinking for them. They constantly tried to teach things --with or without their children's interest. They were managers rather than consultants. Their children were long on fear and timidness, short on initiative, confidence, and self-reliance."

Interesting, isnt' it? What about you? Do you foster responsibility and independence? Or do you manage your child?